ATTN: Dear Beneficiary,…DID YOU SEND THEM TO COME GET YOUR FUND

Release/Transfer Notice for your due Funds (US$10,500,000:00).

Without taking much of your time, my name is Dr. Ramsey Goodman, the Honorable Paymaster General of The Federal Republic of Nigeria.

I’m apparently lucky to be contacted by the country’s Financial Monitoring Unit, who have detected the attempted diversion of funds from my account (the very hide of them!) to some other “secret account in the middle East”. Those bastard middle Easterians! I’m glad to have people like this looking out for me.

Before they can transfer the money to my proper account I apparently have to “stop all further contact or communication with every other person regarding your (ie. my) Funds”. They must be “down”</airquotes> with the kinds of tricks those nasty scammers use on unsuspecting victims.

Now if only I could figure out who to send my reply and gratitude to.

• The envelope sender is Mr Song Li <maile.1 AT osu.edu>
• The reply-to header says novellfrancesd2 AT yahoo.co.uk
• The email itself implores me to reply to transferdept_101 AT inmail24.com

O I am conflictuated!